Weeeeeee! I am officially free! All of this nightmarish court stuff is finally over. I had a great day in court today with a very understanding and patient prosecutor. Now if The Corporation will only pay my unemployment, I'll finally be able to truly start fresh. I feel like a new person. It's amazing.
One thing that struck me while I was in jail (for the 8 hours I spent in that holding cell) was how easy it seemed to get there. I was put there because my license was suspended because of a ticket I didn't pay from 2006. I didn't know that it was suspended... neither did I know that police DO NOT, in fact, give you any leeway when it comes to paying your tag tax. My bday is June 5 and I was pulled over on June 22. I thought you had the whole month to pay it... NOT SO. I was terrified on the way to court today. I didn't know if they would be as mean as they were in jail, but as my s.o. pointed out, you're a person again in the courtroom. I thank God that things went as well as they did. Now I can finally get on with my life.
And that consists of pretty much nothing but work right now. I still have a ton of stuff to pay off so I'm trying to pick up as many shifts as possible. I want to do some more reading, but I need to spend my money on things like keeping the lights on so the new books will have to wait. Unless of course, I can borrow the new Harry Potter and then no one will see me for at least a week until I finish it. I've been trying to re-read my favorite books, but it feels like watching a DVD I've already seen a few too many times. The old favs just can't keep my attention right now... except David Sedaris. I can read his books over and over again. Maybe it's because each story is different and I always find something I missed the first (few) times I read the story. I've tried reading "The Road Less Traveled" again because it meant a lot to me when I read it the first time 10 years ago, but it's feeling dated to me now. If anyone reading this has any suggestions on books to try, please let me know. I love a good story. Stephen King had a few suggestions in his memoir and I put those on my Amazon Wish List. (that might be a hint if I thought anyone was actually reading this...)
I should go get ready for bed now. I have to work in the morning (and by morning I mean almost noon) and today has been a very long day.
Cheers!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
A Quick Pep Talk for Myself
The Power of The Mind.
It's a wonderful thing. "The Alchemist" says whenever you want something, the universe conspires to help you get it (in so many words.) I guess the key is to focus on what it is that you want.
Tonight will be a Good Night. We will be busy and I will make more than I need to put some stuff in order. That's what I want.
Now I just have to go get it.
It's a wonderful thing. "The Alchemist" says whenever you want something, the universe conspires to help you get it (in so many words.) I guess the key is to focus on what it is that you want.
Tonight will be a Good Night. We will be busy and I will make more than I need to put some stuff in order. That's what I want.
Now I just have to go get it.
Monday, August 13, 2007
On Writing (is awesome)
I've been reading Stephen King's "On Writing". The first half is a memoir and the second half is pretty much an instruction manual. I love his instructions on writing: write like a maniac until you have the entire story out, then put it away for 6 weeks and don't even think about re-reading it. That's exactly what I've found that I have to do with stories I write... if I read them too soon after I write them, I hate them. I want to fix everything and more often than not, I throw it out. Sometimes I'll stuff them in a drawer or a box and when I find them some time later (usually the next time I move, which is practically every year) I read them and wonder what I thought was so terrible. Sometimes I'm actually impressed with my writing--but I keep those to myself because I don't want anyone to rain on my parade (whether it's deserved or not.)
What I really want to read is the new Harry Potter. I can't bring myself to pay the $20 for the hardcover, so I'm trying to restrain myself. It's actually not to difficult since I can't find a spare $20 anywhere, but God help me if I make a ton of money some night this week.
My court date is approaching next week and I have to make sure I have all my ducks in a row. I'm really nervous. I know exactly what I'm going to do, thanks to a wonderful friend with a law practice, but I'm still afraid they're going to find a reason to throw me back in jail. I wonder if everyone that's been in jail thinks that... it's pretty traumatizing. Maybe I'll make the s.o. go with me so he can tear me away and help me get to a non-extradition country. I'll have to do some more planning.
That's it for today... I've caught some cold and am fighting it off with Advil Cold & Sinus and a Miller Lite. I should probably trade that for some hot tea...
Cheers!
What I really want to read is the new Harry Potter. I can't bring myself to pay the $20 for the hardcover, so I'm trying to restrain myself. It's actually not to difficult since I can't find a spare $20 anywhere, but God help me if I make a ton of money some night this week.
My court date is approaching next week and I have to make sure I have all my ducks in a row. I'm really nervous. I know exactly what I'm going to do, thanks to a wonderful friend with a law practice, but I'm still afraid they're going to find a reason to throw me back in jail. I wonder if everyone that's been in jail thinks that... it's pretty traumatizing. Maybe I'll make the s.o. go with me so he can tear me away and help me get to a non-extradition country. I'll have to do some more planning.
That's it for today... I've caught some cold and am fighting it off with Advil Cold & Sinus and a Miller Lite. I should probably trade that for some hot tea...
Cheers!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Another post... in my New Blog excitement
Back from cleaning duty. I look a lot worse, probably smell a whole lot worse, but I actually feel a lot better. I went in with the worst hangover but the combination of another beer and a lot of sweat made me feel like a new woman. Which is why, of course, I'm sitting here drinking a Miller Lite. I'm gonna have to put the brakes on. I always drink way too much when I'm bartending.
My dad suggested that I start making notes of funny people and situations in the bar and writing short stories based on the notes. I might give it a try. If anything, it would be good practice to start thinking creatively again.
I love my house (and by "house" I mean apartment) right now. It's clean (well, except for all the unfolded clean clothes all over my bed), cold and silent.
I need silence.
I also need a shower. Badly. I'm starting to get chills because my shirt is soaked with sweat and it's pretty chilly in here. Is it weird that I don't really like to shower? I love the water and getting clean, I think it's the drying part I don't like. It's too much trouble. Yeah, I can be pretty lazy sometimes.
I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball.
Cheers!
My dad suggested that I start making notes of funny people and situations in the bar and writing short stories based on the notes. I might give it a try. If anything, it would be good practice to start thinking creatively again.
I love my house (and by "house" I mean apartment) right now. It's clean (well, except for all the unfolded clean clothes all over my bed), cold and silent.
I need silence.
I also need a shower. Badly. I'm starting to get chills because my shirt is soaked with sweat and it's pretty chilly in here. Is it weird that I don't really like to shower? I love the water and getting clean, I think it's the drying part I don't like. It's too much trouble. Yeah, I can be pretty lazy sometimes.
I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball.
Cheers!
New Beginning
It's been over a year since my last post. So much has happened in that time... I got a promotion, was completely miserable for about a year, was arrested and fired (in the same week!)
Hard to tell if losing my job is really the "good thing" I keep telling everyone it is. I'm bartending again in the town that I love, so that's a good thing but I'm not making any money yet. I know things are about to pick up and soon I should be swimming in cash, but I still feel like I've taken a huge step back to where I was 3 years ago. Haven't I learned anything?
What do I want to do? Do I have to decide? Isn't not deciding a decision in itself? I'm hoping that restarting this blog might help me figure a few things out. Maybe get me writing again. I think that's what I'm supposed to do... I just don't know where to start.
Right now I'm going to eat something and head down to the bar for a lovely 3 hours of fighting hangover/cleaning/meeting.
Cheers!
Hard to tell if losing my job is really the "good thing" I keep telling everyone it is. I'm bartending again in the town that I love, so that's a good thing but I'm not making any money yet. I know things are about to pick up and soon I should be swimming in cash, but I still feel like I've taken a huge step back to where I was 3 years ago. Haven't I learned anything?
What do I want to do? Do I have to decide? Isn't not deciding a decision in itself? I'm hoping that restarting this blog might help me figure a few things out. Maybe get me writing again. I think that's what I'm supposed to do... I just don't know where to start.
Right now I'm going to eat something and head down to the bar for a lovely 3 hours of fighting hangover/cleaning/meeting.
Cheers!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Lent, Diets, Oprah and Serial Killers. Random.
Ah, Lent. I've been Catholic since I was a teeny infant so Lent has always been a big part of my faith. During the 40 days of Lent, you'r supposed to give up something so that the suffering you experience will bring you closer to God. I used to give up sweets to try to lose a few pounds, but it rarely worked. Then I tried making a promise to do something instead of give something up, with the rationalization that giving something up is really more about personal gain (or loss, in terms of weight.) This year I've given up beer, liquor and procrastination. Guess which one I'm having the most trouble with.
And now I'm feeling guilty along with procrastinating. But the guilt isn't enough to make me stop. I've already lost today. I have to go work out in less than an hour... better to get something done with my day, right? I drank too much wine last night, which made it much harder to get motivated to do anything.
Yech, I'm watching an episode of Oprah about child molestors and abusers. Oprah was describing their crimes and they are truly disgusting. I have a 7 yr old niece and I don't know what I would do if anyone tried to hurt her. Well, I have an idea of what I'd like to do, but I don't know exactly what I'm capable of. Thankfully no one in my family has been victimized by someone else. Yech. Now I feel all dirty.
I watched this show about serial killers the other day, about how they could be the nice guy next door--as was the BTK killer-- and when I went grocery shopping later, I was wary of anyone that stared, even looked, at me for longer than a second. They might be a serial killer! During the show, when the BTK killer was confessing his crimes in court, he was so calm and unemotional it made my stomach hurt. Really. He told how he would talk to his victims before he raped them, then killed them, and how when one woman threw up after locking her kids in the bathroom, he helped her clean up and got her a glass of water before killing her. I've never seen evil personified before and it freaked me out. And what's really gross, BTK stands for Bind, Torture, Kill. He signed his notes to the police with that signature. (shudder) Gross.
Okay. So now I'm procrastinating, freaked out and still have to get ready to go to the gym. I'm going to a spinning class and then possibly pilates. I haven't been in over 3 months so we'll see if I can make the 2 hours. I've gotten so fat, and this time I'm not even kidding. I'm probably the biggest I've ever been and I need to take it down a couple sizes. I'd like to lose 30-40 pounds before August. Think I can do it? Maybe. I've already been cutting out the pizza, ice cream and beer that got me here. Wish me luck.
And now I'm feeling guilty along with procrastinating. But the guilt isn't enough to make me stop. I've already lost today. I have to go work out in less than an hour... better to get something done with my day, right? I drank too much wine last night, which made it much harder to get motivated to do anything.
Yech, I'm watching an episode of Oprah about child molestors and abusers. Oprah was describing their crimes and they are truly disgusting. I have a 7 yr old niece and I don't know what I would do if anyone tried to hurt her. Well, I have an idea of what I'd like to do, but I don't know exactly what I'm capable of. Thankfully no one in my family has been victimized by someone else. Yech. Now I feel all dirty.
I watched this show about serial killers the other day, about how they could be the nice guy next door--as was the BTK killer-- and when I went grocery shopping later, I was wary of anyone that stared, even looked, at me for longer than a second. They might be a serial killer! During the show, when the BTK killer was confessing his crimes in court, he was so calm and unemotional it made my stomach hurt. Really. He told how he would talk to his victims before he raped them, then killed them, and how when one woman threw up after locking her kids in the bathroom, he helped her clean up and got her a glass of water before killing her. I've never seen evil personified before and it freaked me out. And what's really gross, BTK stands for Bind, Torture, Kill. He signed his notes to the police with that signature. (shudder) Gross.
Okay. So now I'm procrastinating, freaked out and still have to get ready to go to the gym. I'm going to a spinning class and then possibly pilates. I haven't been in over 3 months so we'll see if I can make the 2 hours. I've gotten so fat, and this time I'm not even kidding. I'm probably the biggest I've ever been and I need to take it down a couple sizes. I'd like to lose 30-40 pounds before August. Think I can do it? Maybe. I've already been cutting out the pizza, ice cream and beer that got me here. Wish me luck.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Back to Work
Is there anything as satisfying as the sound of an ankle popping? I've sprained my ankle(s) numerous times and each time they heal, if I move my ankle just right, I'll get it to crack. The louder the crack, the more satisfying it is to me. Weird? I also pull the dead skin off my feet and pick my nose (using a tissue, of course) so maybe I'm just weird. Or gross.
I've been sick for about 2 weeks now. I blame it partly on my boyfriend. He's sick too but I can still remember when I was well... and then he got me sick. Jerk. Of course, beer and liquor do not make anything better and I didn't stop drinking until a couple of days ago (and it was damn time too... you know you're hitting it too hard when nothing tastes good anymore.) Everyone once in a while I feel like absolute ASS but I'm getting by alright.
It's funny to me how every aptitude test I've ever taken (including the ones on tickle.com, which I paid for because I'm an idiot) tell me I should be an actress or a journalist. I have wanted to be both in my lifetime and even went so far as to get a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism at a pretty well known J-school and have chosen so far not to use it at all. Instead I'm a slave to my phone and other people's schedules. My job is pretty fun but not so challenging or stimulating. They (the Powers That Be) try, but I think I need something that's going to keep me busy and challenged on a daily basis. I'm looking, that's for sure... probably about as hard as my lazy-ass boyfriend is... and I have a job!
Alright... back to work.
I've been sick for about 2 weeks now. I blame it partly on my boyfriend. He's sick too but I can still remember when I was well... and then he got me sick. Jerk. Of course, beer and liquor do not make anything better and I didn't stop drinking until a couple of days ago (and it was damn time too... you know you're hitting it too hard when nothing tastes good anymore.) Everyone once in a while I feel like absolute ASS but I'm getting by alright.
It's funny to me how every aptitude test I've ever taken (including the ones on tickle.com, which I paid for because I'm an idiot) tell me I should be an actress or a journalist. I have wanted to be both in my lifetime and even went so far as to get a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism at a pretty well known J-school and have chosen so far not to use it at all. Instead I'm a slave to my phone and other people's schedules. My job is pretty fun but not so challenging or stimulating. They (the Powers That Be) try, but I think I need something that's going to keep me busy and challenged on a daily basis. I'm looking, that's for sure... probably about as hard as my lazy-ass boyfriend is... and I have a job!
Alright... back to work.
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