Relieved

After 3 months of anxiety and suspense, it's finally done.

No more court dates, hearings, anxiety about jail time or playing nice with the former bosses. Of course, my anxiety about possible jail time was completely unfounded... when things get tough, I get anxious--about everything.

I had my hearing yesterday. It didn't go the way I expected it to--that is, I didn't expect The Corporation to pull out the big guns for just little ol'me. I said everything I had to say and now all there is to do is try to forget about it. Either I win and they give me the money they owe me or nothing changes and I'm still broke as a joke.

I do feel like a weight is lifted now that I'm done with The Corporation. My self-esteem is increasing, I'm taking better care of myself (i.e. trying to lose this weight!), and I'm trying to decide what I really WANT to do. That's the upside.

The downside is that I can't shake the feeling that I'm back where I was 4 years ago. I ran screaming from the bar business and I'm right back in it. Starting at the bottom! Well, it has only been a couple of months and I guess if bartending is what I have to fall back on, I'm not doing too bad.

My s.o. just brought me a big bowl of chicken tortilla soup from McAlisters. It's delicious and hot and helping to clear my sinuses. Thank God for that... I haven't felt this sick in a long time.