In the Doorway

Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right.

What if what you think is "I don't want to"? And the next logical question is: What do you want to do? And my answer is: I don't know yet. Give me some time to think about it.

Why does it seem that time is in short supply lately? The earth isn't spinning any faster... or so I think.

Regarding work, I feel like I'm in a holding pattern right now. I don't really like it, but I'm going to ride it out. I don't like feeling unmotivated and unsure because I know that this not the way I usually feel. I think a door may have been opened for me and I want to go through it. I'm still scared but every week I'm doing things that the instant before I do them, I think I can't do that.

But then I do it. Every single time I watch the instructors demonstrate what we'll be doing during Trapeze class, I think "there's no way I'll be able to do that." BUT, when it's my turn, I do it. Exactly the way they showed us how to. That's a pretty powerful lesson to learn and reinforce every week.

I was handed a writing assignment (that I volunteered for) recently. It was minor, to be sure, but besides this blog, it has been a long time since I've written anything. That dream was something I gave up on a long time ago. I sat down to write it that night and came up with... nothing. I had nothing. No inspiration, no idea which way to take this assignment. So I put it away for the night, not sure if anything would come of it and wondering if I would disappoint myself again.

It all came to me the next morning. All at once. Obviously, I'm not talking about my life's work, but it was a tiny glimpse through the doorway of What Could Be. And believe me, I am all about jamming my foot into that door and prying it open but I think that door opens when we're ready.

And I believe I'm standing in a little shaft of its light.