Sunday, September 19, 2010

Freedom, at last.


I was fired last week from the corporate job. I actually believe it's really the best thing that could have happened to me. I have no idea what's going to happen next or what I really want, but I'm very happy to have the opportunity to explore what I want to do. Well, I will as soon as unemployment starts to come in.

I'm going to have to manage my time though. I've discovered that if I turn on the TV, my whole day can get sucked down the drain and that is a terrible feeling. It's an awesome feeling though, to be able to set my own schedule and do what I want to do all day. I hope I don't become too lazy to do what I want to do. Doing absolutely nothing is great once in a while but it can become a little taxing. Weird, right? I start to feel a little worthless.

So here is a first draft of how I plan on spending my week:

5 hours/week working out (at least--3 of these are already planned)
5 hours/week searching online for a job (again, at least. An hour a day seems like a good start.)
AND 5 hours/week working on my writing. Finally.

Then there's the about 16 hours/week I'll spend working at the bar (still doing that part-time.)

And I think I'd like to pick up some volunteer work. I definitely have the time. :)

So we're up to about a full work week's worth of time.

We'll see how it goes. Hopefully what I will NOT do is plop my fat ass down on the couch and get stuck. I'll have to avoid the couch like it has herpes.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

"I am a Human BEING, not a Human DOING.

Don't equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren't what you DO. If you are what you do, then when you don't.... you aren't."

(from Inner Wisdom Cards by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.)

I inherited those cards from my dad when he moved from Texas to Boston. He was going into the seminary and couldn't take most of his things. He allowed my siblings and me to take anything we wanted and I loved those cards. There are a bunch more in there that seem to speak to me, specifically. Of course, I know they weren't written just for me, and that actually helps me to feel connected to the rest of humanity. Apparently we all need to be reminded of that once in a while.

I have a headache today. I hate headaches. It's my fault. I drank too much wine last night... it seemed like a good idea at the time. And it was delicious wine, but it made me act a little crazy last night and feel a little bad today... and I can't be sure it was worth it.

And there are times when it's worth it. I've had mornings when I wake up wishing I could cut off my head, it hurt so bad, but the memory of the night before and all the fun I had actually helps to temper the hangover.

Thank God for Dr. Dyer and his Inner Wisdom, otherwise I might feel pretty bad about not accomplishing anything today.