Ragin' Irish (?)

The hormones are a'ragin today!

In the past 30 mins I've felt:

1. Despair
2. Lust
3. Envy
4. Hideous
5. Thankful
6. Amused

And the amusements just won't stop. I'm cracking myself up, reading old posts. Some are actually pretty good but some are very, very bad. I hope nobody reads this stuff.

If you are reading right now, I'm sorry. I'll try to do better.

Ever since I've stopped taking birth control pills, I'm trying to get back in touch with my body. And that means observing my moods and deciding whether what I'm feeling is real or hormonal. It feels a lot better than acting immediately on what I'm feeling, which is what I normally do.

I have my share of problems: I can't manage my money AT ALL, it seems; any problem I have seems to magnify the rest, sometimes throwing me into panic mode; I can be selfish, self-absorbed, vain and competitive; I can be sneaky and manipulative; I can lie and not feel bad about it (for very long).

BUT in spite of all that, I know that God loves me. I know that He will love me through whatever I am or whatever I do... and that keeps me grounded. God's love keeps me humble because I know I can't DO anything to deserve it.... and many times I feel like I don't.

If anyone is reading this right now, I want to apologize for telling you I felt lustful.

And to remind you that God loves you no matter what. I know everyone's heard that before, but really THINK about that. NO MATTER WHAT. God will always take you back, no matter what you've done, if you want to come back to Him.

It just kind of puts everything in perspective. I can worry all I want about not having any money in the bank, but I know that I already have what I really need. I'm going to try not to worry so much because in the end, everything works out.

And worrying gives you wrinkles.

Change

I think it's incredibly cheesy to post song lyrics on my blog to express how I feel.

BUT... I'm doing it anyway.

This song is an anthem for anyone struggling everyday to make their dreams happen.
I'm so impressed with Taylor Swift... from what I know of her story (and it might not be all exactly right), she knew she wanted to perform since she was a little girl. She shopped around for a record deal when she was 10 years old (TEN!) and she eventually got one.

And the rest is history. She's one of the biggest cross-over country artists there is right now, maybe ever. Her songs are playing on at least 2 radio stations as I type this.

Her story is amazing, inspiring and a testament to the power of the will.

And the grace of God.

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Change
Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

And it's a sad picture,
the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same,
another time and place
Repeating history and you're getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through
Because these things will change

Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution,
the time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh

So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now
Found things they never found
They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away and say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this
'Cause these things will change

Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution
The time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh

Tonight we'll stand and get off our knees
To fight for what we worked for all these years
And the battle was long
it's the fight of our lives
But we'll stand up champions tonight
It was the night things changed

Can you see it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution,
throw your hands up,
'cause we never gave in
We'll sing hallelujah!
We sang hallelujah!
Hallelujah!